Sideswipe: January 6: Popular patch for chrysalises

Without a chopping board

A risk-taking adventurer is making a cheese-and-pickle sandwich without using a chopping board. Emma Bradford spotted husband Tim fearlessly spreading butter and slicing cheese directly on the kitchen surface, as if it were for all the world normal, one lunchtime. She said: “I only came in for a drink when I saw the horror unfold before my eyes. He put the bread down without even flinching and began buttering it without a care in the world. Then things stepped up a gear when he began slicing a tomato. I couldn’t watch. I don’t know whether he’s an adrenalin junkie or just doesn’t care whether he lives or dies, but he didn’t give the chopping board a second glance.” (Via The Daily Mash)

All the things not to flush

Godly faux pas

1. Our young daughter asked: “Why is God called Peter?” “What do you mean?” came the reply. “When they read the Bible we say, ‘Thanks Peter God’,” she said.

2. I have a memory of my younger brother pleading, during the Lord’s Prayer, for God to “deliver us from eagles”.

3. The children burying their recently deceased pet rabbit in the garden. As they reverently lowered the shoebox coffin into the grave, they were overheard reciting the appropriate words: “In the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole he goes.”

Gut instinct

A close call shared on social media: “I was driving on the road one night and I saw a car in the middle of the road with two people lying on the ground. My gut feeling was that something is suspicious here and I decided to act on it by driving past the car and the two people. I stop to take my phone out and call the police and I look at my rearview mirror to see the two people lying on the road stand up with five other people coming out of the bushes.”

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