After unexpectedly falling pregnant I had a termination — and now I am struggling to cope – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER I unexpectedly fell pregnant I had a termination. Now I am struggling to cope.

I am 39 and have two amazing children, a daughter of 18 and a son of 16. My husband was my childhood sweetheart and we have been married for 21 years. He is 40.

I’ve suffered from anxiety for years but medication has kept it under control for the past two.

We had just got back on our feet after years of struggling financially and were able to have some quality of life. Then, three months ago, I found out I was pregnant.

A side-effect of my medication is the risk of severe physical and mental problems for the child. I couldn’t live with myself knowing my medication had done that to my baby.

My husband and I talked and decided on a termination. That was six weeks ago.

I am devastated and though we felt we had no other option, medically, emotionally or physically, I  can’t move on.

I don’t know if it is hormones or guilt but my mind and body crave another child and I am struggling to forgive myself.

It is never an easy decision to have a termination, even when it is the best course, as in your sad situation.

DEIDRE SAYS: It is natural you have feelings of guilt and regret but having another baby now would not wipe out these feelings and would most likely land you with a whole other set of stresses and worries.

Your husband is no doubt grieving as well, so talk to him and support each other.

My e-leaflet Termination You Regret? will help you.

You already suffer from anxiety, increasing your feeling of grief. Contact Anxiety UK for understanding support (, 03444 775 774).

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