Family throw gender reveal party for eight-year-old trans daughter
Ella Scott was just six years old when she told her parents she didn’t feel like a boy.
At first, her parents Nikki, 38, and Graham, 39, thought their child was going through a phase – but soon they realised their daughter was determined to embrace her trans identity.
So, as Ella turned eight years old, the family decided to do a ‘gender reveal’ celebration, with a party and photoshoot to announced Ella’s journey to the extended family.
‘With Ella it’s like she always knew but we just didn’t,’ mum Nikki said.
‘We always knew she was a little different, when she was little as she was always friends with girls and played with Frozen toys.
‘I have two other children, Ella’s brothers, two cisgender boys who play rough but Ella never wanted to join in.
‘At age six she wanted to start wearing girls clothes like skirts and dresses.
‘I must admit with Ella being our first child and that being all we knew, I thought it might just be a phase. One Halloween we decided to let Ella pick her own costume and she wanted to be a cat so she wore a skirt and cat ears.
‘Neither of us knew what the right thing to do was so we showed Ella books of trans people because she didn’t have the words to say it.
‘Eventually, she did, she said I’m not a boy, I don’t feel like this inside.’
Nikki and Graham struggled with knowing what to do when their daughter first came out.
‘We were so confused,’ Nikki shared, ‘asking ourselves if she was too young and were we doing the right thing.
‘We wanted to ensure what we were doing wasn’t harmful or damaging.
‘We arranged a consultation with a psychologist from our local child mental health centre Reach Out Centre for Kids and they ensured we were doing the right thing.
‘From here we let Ella take the lead. In grade one she started using she/her pronouns, eventually growing her hair longer and wearing girls’ clothing.
‘Ella did get upset when her hair wasn’t growing fast but apart from that she is a very happy girl with an upbeat character and has been throughout her journey.’
The good news is that Ella’s two brothers, the rest of her family, and her friends, have been super supportive.
She’s now able to explore her gender identity in a space that feels safe and welcoming.
‘Grade one was confusing as some peers were saying she wasn’t a girl,’ Nikki said. ‘However, we chose to move Ella and the rest of our kids.
‘Ella’s new school was a perfect place for her to explore who herself further and her teachers have been so supportive too. She has a great group of friends around her as well.
‘Family gave her the most supporting and loving reaction as expected when she came out.
‘It’s her family, her home and that means her safe space.’
To help other parents who may feel lost when it comes to their child’s trans identity, Nikki decided to set up a social media page to share Ella’s transition journey.
‘When she transitioned I found loads of resources for youths but not for kids. In most local clinics the rules are that you need to start puberty before you can get in and that means Ella wouldn’t qualify.
‘I want parents to feel they have a safe space because we didn’t have anyone else us to help at the start of our journey.
‘My page is to raise awareness of transgender kids and a supportive community for the parents.’
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