I didn't expect my husband to be upset when I told him I was pregnant

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER trying for a child for nearly a decade, I expected my husband to celebrate when I told him I was pregnant. But his reaction completely floored me.

He just walked out.


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Two hours later he returned and told me he’d been planning to leave me for a colleague he’d been having an affair with for more than a year.

“Devastated” doesn’t cover it.

We’ve been together for 18 years and our daughter is 12. I’m 38 and my husband is 41.

We wanted more children but it never happened.

We had IVF and after years of using charts then apps to check my fertile days, we stopped because it was taking its toll on our marriage.

I’ve always been naughty, going away with girlfriends on holiday and maybe kissing a guy in a club or having a quick fumble.

But I’ve never had sex with anyone else while I’ve been married.

I’ve always come home and confessed, blaming alcohol, and being full of remorse.

My husband is one of life’s good guys. He’s kind and understanding even when I felt at my lowest for risking our relationship.

There is a pattern. Straight after, he’s cool with me. Then we get back on track.

We have sex often and two months ago, I was late for my period. I did a pregnancy test and it was positive.

I was over the moon but his reaction told me something was very wrong.

He has called off his affair with this woman, who’s 28, because “we are now expecting a new life”.

But my head is spinning. I couldn’t believe he’d do that to me.

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But worse was to come. He started questioning my nights out with my friends and said: “Are you sure this kid is mine?”

Why would he think this baby isn’t his? I’m in pieces.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It is devastating to have him question you at a time when you should both be elated.

But you planted those seeds of doubt by admitting you had risked your marriage on your holidays.

You are going to have to plead and grovel and convince him these one-offs were nothing more than a kiss – and the baby most definitely is his child.

He has also got some explaining to do.

As you have a daughter who will pick up on the tension, you would be wise to get some counselling to help you forgive each other.

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Contact tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1975), which provides online help.

My support pack on cheating will help you get through the coming months.

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