Man sets out ‘horrifying’ list of demands to be a sperm donor for his brother

Finding out you are unable to have children can be a difficult time in any relationship as you come to terms with the news.

For one husband and wife this came when, after trying to conceive 'for a while', the man found out he had azoospermia – a medical condition when semen contains no sperm.

They decided adoption wasn't something they could afford, nor did they like the idea of having a third party 'call all the shots about us having children'.

After establishing that a sperm donor was the way to go, the husband made it clear he would only be comfortable if it came from his brother, who had already donated in college and currently has a son with his girlfriend.

Taking to Reddit , the wife in the relationship explained her brother-in-law is a 'little smarmy and self-important but not a bad person' and they asked him for help – but quickly regretted it.

In an email, he went into 'excruciating detail' as to the reasons he didn't believe they would make good parents and a list of things they would 'need to change' before he would 'give' them a child.

She wrote: "At the risk of making this post as long as the email itself, there were two main points:

"I was furious when I received this. HE COULD HAVE JUST SAID NO.

"That he acted like the sole way for us to have children and like he could control our lives is ridiculous.

"I don't want to adopt BECAUSE I don't want to have a third party telling me what my standards are. I'd rather be childless.

"I called him, screamed at him for the horrifying email, and said I wouldn't want his goods if he was the last person on earth.

"My husband is urging me to consider his terms, which I'm not interested in. Am I in the wrong here?"

She went on to explain that she didn't have a problem with her brother-in-law saying no, it was the way he did it which upset her.

The question split opinion, with one user saying: "You're the a**hole. You asked him a question, he responded in an email that you didn't like.

"Then you called and yelled at him because he didn't respond the way you wanted him to."

Others took her side, arguing: "That's all pretty bad but when I got to the part about coercing you into converting religion I almost lost it. HELL no."

Which one is being unreasonable?


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