Most cheaters use work business trip as sneaky cover to enjoy their secret affair
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Researchers quizzed 3,132 adulterers using married dating site Ashley Madison to find out how they hooked up with their ‘bit on the side’. And they found 46 per cent bedded their affair partner while either away in the UK with work or on a foreign city break disguised as a ‘necessary business trip abroad’.
Of those – 40 per cent arranged to meet their secret lover abroad after chatting online first while 42 per cent ended up having a fling with someone they actively sought and hooked up with while abroad supposedly ‘working’.
Three in 10 of the Ashley Madison users admitted they feel far more adventurous while away, often assuming an exciting new persona.
Christoph Kraemer, MD for Europe at married online dating site Ashley Madison, said: “It reveals our members feel more open, free, and adventurous while away which explains why they are perhaps more willing to lower their inhibitions and explore different connections.
“The research also indicates many people adopt a different persona while traveling that has them feeling or acting differently than they would at home.”
When asked why they were more inclined to have an affair while traveling, 62 per cent of Ashley Madison members admitted being away from home made it even easier to be discreet.
Whether they met their affair partner in advance or during their trip, 43 per cent said having an affair while traveling felt more exciting and 39 per cent said it felt more spontaneous.
Another one in three (35 per cent) said it felt easier to compartmentalise what they were up to compared to having an affair in the city or town where they live.
While some Ashley Madison members have discussed the possibility of exploring outside partners while traveling openly with their spouses, the majority (88 per cent) said they did not discuss, or get permission, from their spouse.
Tammy Nelson, PhD – author of When You’re the One Who Cheats – said affairs often occur while traveling as cheating feels more exciting and easier when we “become someone new” in a new place.
She explained: “A different part of the personality emerges, what she calls the ‘temporary’ part.
“Being in strange surroundings away from people who know us allows us to fully explore what it feels like to be a new person, and to try on different personality traits.
“We might wear sexier clothes, flirt more, be more extroverted, and take risks to put ourselves out there and meet new people, crossing lines into sexual indiscretion if those hook-ups are brief and promise to not follow us home.”
She added that as a short fling is a brief affair, there is less risk in trying on a new persona, and it increases self-esteem and even integrates in our home life – similar to feeling revived after a short holiday or trip.
Nelson remarked: “If trying on this new personality doesn’t work and we don’t like this new aspect of ourselves, we can leave the experience behind, and maybe even pretend it never happened.”
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