My daughter is trying to guilt-trip me into letting her move home
DEAR DEIDRE: MY manipulative daughter is trying to guilt-trip me into letting her move back home.
She is not a child. She is a 36-year-old woman who has made stupid relationship mistakes and expects me to pick up the pieces.
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She has had a series of useless, work-shy boyfriends, and as a result has found herself without a permanent home.
Now she is making me feel guilty because I have said she can’t move back into my tiny two-bed house.
I am 62 and live with my partner and our son – there’s simply no room.
I’ve said she can sleep on the sofa for a few weeks, but she needs to find somewhere to rent, or a house share.
She is making me feel like a bad mother for saying “no”.
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She has always been good at wrapping me around her little finger.
The problem is, I can’t sleep for worrying about her. But I feel it’s time to let her deal with things like an adult.
DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t magic up a third bedroom. And sometimes it is better to give our children tough love.
The problem is, it hurts us too, to see them suffering. But unless you stop solving all her problems, she will keep making mistakes and never grow up.
You have offered her your sofa and won’t see her on the streets. That is fair enough.
Offer to help her to find somewhere to live, and make it clear you love her and will be a shoulder to cry on.
Suggest she contact shelter.org.uk for housing advice.
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