My husband wants to become a woman and I don’t know how I feel about it – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband wants to be called “she” and is planning surgery to become a woman.

I have been in shock. Some of the family know but it has caused rifts and we haven’t been invited to family gatherings.

I have been supportive as I feel it is my job as a wife to stand by my husband. She is now living as a woman and she will be going for surgery in a couple of years.

I love her very much but I am not sure how I’ll feel when the surgery is complete. I’ve tried to explain this but she says she won’t go through with the surgery if I’d then no longer want to stay married.

I can’t predict how I’ll feel but I know I want her to be happy. She is 53 and I’m 49.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s a big ask, but many couples do survive the transition and remain happily married – possible in the UK now same-sex marriage is legal.

But it will bring a lot of challenges and you need as much support as your partner.

The Beaumont Society can help (, 01582 412 220).

Don’t put your feelings on the backburner – and reach out to more understanding members of the family.

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