Love Island 2019: Amber, Ovie, Anna and Jordan have a four-way, Belle shaves Anton, and Curtis is 'brutal' with Amy

First and foremost, howya Taoiseach?! I hear you only “watch snippets” but just in case you’re having a nose through the news, we’re here every night for all your Twitter reaction needs.

Secondly; anyone else having a flurry of mixed feelings regarding Maura’s sudden interest in Curtis? It’s as if she came late into the show and knew just how much the viewers liked him… Well, initially anyway.

Indeed, the latent cynic is raging in yours truly, but I’m just not quite feeeeeeeling this. It’s just too convenient.

On paper, it makes sense, but it’s got a serious bang of “I want to be on some celebrity dance show on either side of the Irish sea, tanks” off it. Like, when did the actual flirting start? When a white fedder landed in front of them in the kitchen.

Maura, a woman after my own heart, started banging on about it being a sign from an angel, with her elaborating “It means something.” When Curtis responded, “I wonder what it means”, she said: “We might not ever know.” Except we do know… RUN, RUN SCREAMING INTO THE NIGHT, CURTIS, BECAUSE A LIFETIME OF INFAMY, MAURAISMS AND MONEY AWAIT!!!

Offloading in the Beach Hut, after already offloading to Lucie, Maura added: “I had a chat with him today in the kitchen. If he wants a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here!”

Unlikely Curtis wants to cry; judging by tonight’s offerings he feels like pirouetting his way around the pool.

Being the brutally honest sort, when Amy asked him “Are you upset we’re no longer together?” he said, “It’s probably going to be horrible to hear but I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”

Wait.

He also added: “You do need a lot of reassurance… I couldn’t envisage myself having kids with you or marrying you…”

Yikes. And on national television. All he has to do now is inform Amy that he slid into Maura’s DMs a while back.

MICHAEL GIVES AMBER THE TIME OF DAY

Amber, don’t do it. You had a lucky escape. And it looks like she’d go there again.

OK, you can’t help who you have feelings for, just ask Curtis (or Maura, apparently).

Anyway, sitting down for a chat earlier in the day, Amber was at pains to let Michael know she did have genuine feelings for him, to which he responded: “”For me, it was hard to see. I felt like I was constantly chasing you. I could not read you. I was constantly questioning it. I didn’t ever want to hurt you. I’m deeply sorry. I do want you to know that I’m still here for you.” Mmmmmmmmnope.

Still, there’s definitely something fizzling, with Amber adding: “Watching you with lovely Joanna who is not catty and lets you talk about your issues – but she doesn’t make you laugh as much as me though!” Indeed, but what does Michael do for you, exactly? With that in mind…

AMBER ASKED OVIE ON A DATE

Yes, you read that correctly.

Twitter exploded with the news that Amber brought her best friend’s current partner on a date – but just as a friend, like. Well, Ovie was bound to feel left out after the Villa’s other singleton – Jordan – obviously chose Anna as his date. While it was bound to be tricky trying to crack on with the object of your affection with her 6 foot 7 partner at the next table wasn’t ideal, Jordan did his best twinkly eye/teeth thing, and Anna was suitably receptive given the circumstances.

As for why Amber chose Ovie?

Well, Anna told her to, plus Amber said the “only person she likes in the Villa is Michael”, but – not wanting to appear desperate – she asked Ovie because she knows he has her back. Presuming Anna’s going to give Jordan another whirl, Amber seized the opportunity to ask Ovie who his back up plan would be. When he said Joanna, Amber looked like the cat who’d scarfed all the cream.

TONIGHT’S TAKEAWAYS

• Anna saying “I feel like the way you’ve handled everything has been so good and attractive” is so true. There is NOTHING more attractive than someone who’s happy in their own skin.

• Belle may not say much, but she’s deffo in for the long haul – we just all saw her shave Anton’s ass

• Just when you thought George couldn’t be more one dimensional, he comes across with “WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SNACK?”

OVERALL VIBE…

Ovie saying to Curtis “You’re not Jesus, bruv!” was everything.

In fact, Ovie is everything…

SUUUUUUUUUNDAAAAAY NIIIIIIIIGHT…

Curtis shows Maura how to throw a few shapes and Bo Selecta’s in DA HOOUUUUUUSSSE. No, seriously, Craig David’s all over your – screens.

Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.

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