{"id":68135,"date":"2023-09-30T07:55:37","date_gmt":"2023-09-30T07:55:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celeband.com\/?p=68135"},"modified":"2023-09-30T07:55:37","modified_gmt":"2023-09-30T07:55:37","slug":"after-his-wife-died-and-sons-left-home-paul-found-new-purpose-in-the-cutest-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celeband.com\/lifestyle\/after-his-wife-died-and-sons-left-home-paul-found-new-purpose-in-the-cutest-way\/","title":{"rendered":"After his wife died and sons left home, Paul found new purpose in the cutest way"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

When Paul Hincks\u2019 wife, Anita, died of cancer, aged just 42, he became a single father to three boys.<\/p>\n

When they eventually fled the nest, Paul found life in the family home all too quiet, and describes a feeling of \u2018complete isolation\u2019.<\/p>\n

But purely by chance, the dad-of-three got involved with a charity who looks after would-be guide dogs. Despite never having a family dog before, Paul says that caring for the dogs have given him \u2018purpose\u2019 again.<\/p>\n

\u2018I come downstairs at 7am now, and there\u2019s 22 kilos of wagging tail waiting for me,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s wife, Anita, had cancer for seven years which ultimately spread to her brain, before she passed away in 2004.<\/p>\n

Speaking of how the disease affected his wife, he says: \u2018Sometimes it wasn\u2019t her<\/em> behaviour. It wasn\u2019t Anita [anymore]. It was not an easy thing, really.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2018But it\u2019s one of those things, isn\u2019t it? You find yourself in that position, and you\u2019ve just got to crack on and cope with it.<\/p>\n

\u2018Nobody is going to come and sort it out for you. You\u2019re just in that position, and you\u2019ve got to do it.\u2019<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

With the help of Anita\u2019s mum, Paul, who\u2019s 65 and from Nuneaton, devoted himself to raising his sons, David, now 39, and Jonathan, now 37, who were teens at the time, and Joseph, now 27.<\/p>\n

Joseph was seven when Anita died, which means he never knew his mum without cancer.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

When it came time for Joseph to leave home for university, the house was suddenly all too quiet.<\/p>\n

\u2018I took him to university and came back having left him,\u2019 says Paul, \u2018and knew I was going back to a completely empty house \u2013 that was a really difficult day. <\/p>\n

\u2018That was a bad one. <\/p>\n

\u2018You\u2019re driving home again, and you\u2019re thinking \u201cwell that\u2019s it, there\u2019s nobody else there now\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n

This combined with the \u2018complete isolation\u2019 of the pandemic that followed, and his looming retirement meant Paul was left with a crushing case of empty nest syndrome. <\/p>\n

\u2018I was a bit lost as to what I was going to do with my retirement,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n

\u2018So I thought \u201cwell now I need a purpose\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n


\n<\/p>\n

Then one day while scrolling through social media, Paul came across an ad looking for Guide Dog Puppy Raiser volunteers.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve always liked dogs,\u2019 says Paul. \u2018We\u2019d never had a family dog, but I\u2019ve always been keen.<\/p>\n

Puppy Raisers open their homes to the baby dogs to help them through essential basic training and socialisation for 12 to 16 months. Meanwhile, the charity covers all the dog\u2019s expenses, including training, food, and vet costs.<\/p>\n

\u2018I just thought that sounded pretty good,\u2019 Paul says, \u2018and that started the journey. <\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019ve got an interest in Guide Dogs anyway because I\u2019m partially-sighted myself. I\u2019ve only got sight in one eye, and what I have got in the other is questionable, so it\u2019s always something I\u2019ve got a bit of an affinity with.\u2019<\/p>\n

So he put himself forward to become a volunteer, and after being vetted by the charity, doing lots of online training and going on a puppy handling course, he got his first puppy, Oakley, in March 2022.<\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s qualified as a guide dog now,\u2019 says Paul, \u2018so he\u2019s a bit of a success. <\/p>\n

\u2018I was really pleased when I got the news\u2026 it was a marvellous day.\u2019<\/p>\n

His second pup, called Orla, was \u2018a lovely dog as well\u2019, and then in March of this year, he got Fern to look after, who\u2019s still with him now.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2018She came to me at nine weeks old,\u2019 he recalls. \u2018She\u2019s still with me \u2013 she\u2019s eight months now, and she\u2019s very good.\u2019<\/p>\n

Each puppy has what\u2019s called a puppy advisor, who the volunteers are \u2018in constant contact with\u2019 and who visit regularly while the pup\u2019s settling in, and there are helplines you can call if you need help or have any questions. <\/p>\n

\u2018You don\u2019t just get left a dog,\u2019 Paul explains. \u2018There are certain things that they expect the dog to be doing at certain ages. <\/p>\n

\u2018When we walk, it\u2019s not just a bimble around the town \u2013 you\u2019re having to introduce the dog to all sorts of environments. If we go to the park, and they\u2019re cutting the grass, we stop and observe what\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s not just a walk, it\u2019s a training exercise. So the next time she meets with a great big lawn mower, she\u2019s going to be perfectly alright with it.<\/p>\n

\u2018They are also puppy classes you can go to, but they sometimes degenerate into, like, children\u2019s parties with the dogs when they all get together.<\/p>\n

\u2018Fern walks beautifully most of the time, but when she gets to these things, she\u2019s like 22 kilos of looney.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s a bit of a workout. You don\u2019t need to go to the gym if you\u2019ve been to a puppy class!\u2019<\/p>\n

But there is, of course, one downside of being a Puppy Raiser.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s not nice when they have to go back,\u2019 Paul says.<\/p>\n

\u2018But that\u2019s why you do it. You know when you start that\u2019s what\u2019s going to happen \u2013 that\u2019s what it\u2019s all about.\u2019<\/p>\n

Even so, Paul says becoming a volunteer has given him a \u2018purpose\u2019 again, and his empty nest syndrome has gone.<\/p>\n

\u2018Fern goes with me everywhere,\u2019 he adds.<\/p>\n

\u2018It gets me out and about regularly, and of course, you meet other dog people as well.<\/p>\n

\u2018OK, when they\u2019re really small, you\u2019re up at all hours of the morning with them, but I come downstairs at 7am now, and there\u2019s 22 kilos of wagging tail waiting for me.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019d certainly do it again, let\u2019s put it that way.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s a partnership between you and the dog. And to some extent, we\u2019re both learning.\u2019<\/p>\n

Do you have a story to share?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Source: Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Paul Hincks\u2019 wife, Anita, died of cancer, aged just 42, he became a single father to three boys. When they eventually fled the nest, Paul found life in the family home all too quiet, and describes a feeling of \u2018complete isolation\u2019. But purely by chance, the dad-of-three got involved with a charity who looks after would-be guide dogs. 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