{"id":68325,"date":"2023-10-06T17:19:49","date_gmt":"2023-10-06T17:19:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celeband.com\/?p=68325"},"modified":"2023-10-06T17:19:49","modified_gmt":"2023-10-06T17:19:49","slug":"i-feel-like-im-living-in-the-shadow-of-my-husbands-first-wife-the-sun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celeband.com\/lifestyle\/i-feel-like-im-living-in-the-shadow-of-my-husbands-first-wife-the-sun\/","title":{"rendered":"I feel like I\u2019m living in the shadow of my husband\u2019s first wife | The Sun"},"content":{"rendered":"

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL like I\u2019m living in the shadow of my husband\u2019s first wife.<\/p>\n

She died from cancer before I met him and I\u2019m starting to realise I\u2019ll never measure up. I\u2019m sick of feeling like the consolation prize.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m 42 and he\u2019s 60. We\u2019ve been married for ten years.<\/p>\n

He has a son and a daughter who are in their early thirties, and now have children of their own.<\/p>\n

Their mother died 12 years ago, and they\u2019ve always made it clear they don\u2019t like or accept me. I thought things would get better with time, but they haven\u2019t.\u00a0<\/p>\n

They leave me out of family celebrations, unless my husband insists I\u2019m invited. They never thank me for gifts and cards.<\/p>\n

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team<\/h3>\n

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.<\/p>\n

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.<\/p>\n

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have children of my own and I used to think I could at least be a step-grandma. But it\u2019s been made very clear that the role isn\u2019t open to me.<\/p>\n

If I go to my husband\u2019s children\u2019s houses, there are photos of his late wife everywhere. Sometimes, it feels like they take extras out of their albums to put on display, just to hurt me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

My husband doesn\u2019t do much to make me feel better. He still visits his wife\u2019s grave regularly, taking flowers.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When I tell him how I feel, he says I\u2019m being ridiculous.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Our marriage is starting to fall apart because I feel so unloved and appreciated. Sometimes I think I should call it quits, but I don\u2019t want to give his kids that satisfaction.<\/p>\n

Am I wrong to feel this way?<\/p>\n

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE<\/h2>\n

<\/picture>WAITING AROUND <\/span><\/p>\n

My lover has gone silent after months of assuring me of her divorce<\/h3>\n

<\/picture>DEIDRE'S STORIES <\/span><\/p>\n

Izzy meets new man after ending things with Joe<\/h3>\n

DEIDRE SAYS:\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>The way you feel can\u2019t be right or wrong, it\u2019s how you feel.\u00a0<\/p>\n

While you want to address the unease, your husband seems unwilling.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important for everyone to understand that after a bereavement it is possible for the bereaved partner to love two people \u2013 the deceased and the new partner.<\/p>\n

So just as his children need not see your love as a threat to their mother\u2019s memory, neither should you feel slighted by your husband laying of flowers for her.<\/p>\n

Talk to him again and tell him you\u2019re considering ending the marriage. Consider couple counselling. Find support via\u00a0tavistockrelationships.org\u00a0(020 7380 1960).\u00a0<\/p>\n

It might also be really helpful to read my support pack Stepfamilies.<\/p>\n

Most read in Dear Deidre<\/h2>\n

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Izzy meets new man after ending things with Joe<\/h3>\n

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Living with my boyfriend was a dream until I found out about his double life<\/h3>\n

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My lover has gone silent after months of assuring me of her divorce<\/h3>\n

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I love my stepdaughter, but seeing her bond with my boyfriend hurts<\/h3>\n

Source: Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL like I\u2019m living in the shadow of my husband\u2019s first wife. She died from cancer before I met him and I\u2019m starting to realise I\u2019ll never measure up. I\u2019m sick of feeling like the consolation prize. I\u2019m 42 and he\u2019s 60. We\u2019ve been married for ten years. 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