Are you over responsible? Psychologist reveals 9 signs from aiming for extreme independence to worrying about outshining others

• Psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani, Birmingham, discussed being over responsible
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A psychologist has revealed nine signs you may be over responsible – including worrying about outshining others.

Birmingham-based chartered psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani, who offers courses on topics including managing anxiety, overcoming fear and imposter syndrome, took to Instagram to share information on the topic in a recent post.

Accompanying the list of nine signs was an extensive caption in which Dr Lalitaa discussed being over responsible.

In the caption, the psychologist described over-responsible people as ‘people-pleasers’.

She added that they ‘suppress and repress themselves to prioritise others and to minimise or eliminate conflict, criticism, rejection, disappointment and loss’. 

Are YOU over responsible? A psychologist has revealed nine signs – including worrying about outshining others (stock image)

According to Dr Suglani: ‘They often do good things for the wrong reasons because they don’t know of another way of cope (we can unlearn this way of being).’

9 signs you are over responsible

1. You feel guilty saying no or being you.

2. You struggle with receiving or asking for help.

3. You worry about outshining others.

4. You deprioritise your needs, expectations and needs.

5. You assume others won’t hold responsibility so you end up taking it on.

6. You aim for extreme independence.

7. You take on other people’s emotions.

8. You play therapist with your family or friends.

9. You feel resentful when people feel entitled to your kindness and support.

Source: Dr Lalitaa Suglani 

She added that there are many reasons why people learn to become over responsible.

Among the list of nine signs that you may be over responsible is feeling guilty for saying no.

Struggling with receiving or asking for help is another sign, as is worrying about outshining others.

Those who are over responsible are likely to find that they deprioritise their needs, expectations and needs. 

In addition, they assume others won’t hold responsibility so end up taking it on themselves.

According to the list, another sign of being over responsible is aiming for extreme independence.

Taking on other people’s emotions and playing therapist with family or friends were also on the list of nine signs.

The final sign is feeling resentful when people feel entitled to your kindness and support.

However, according to the psychologist, there are steps you can take if you are over responsible.

Writing in the caption of the post, she shared five points to bear in mind.

The first said: ‘Set your boundaries! Boundaries are where we begin and another person ends.’

She added: ‘Boundaries are about YOU and your needs.’

According to Dr Suglani: ‘You can’t change other people. 

‘You get to decide what you’re willing to put up with.’

She concluded: ‘Don’t stress over someone’s negative response, we do not have control over how they react and we are not going to be liked by everyone.’

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